Dear Future Husband – Have I found you?

Letter #4

I just realised, it’s been 6 months since I’ve written to you or Hadassah. I know it seems like I’ve been slack, but… yes, actually I’ve been slack. There’s alot I need to fill you in on. Roughly a month and a half after my last letter, God started to put things in place for my heart to heal, in fact, lots of people around me were surprised how quickly I had bounced back. Not to say that the pain wasn’t real, but with a new job and constant over time,  being led to a new life group surrounded by couples who have been married for a very long time, (I was the only single there when I first started going), I began to heal quickly, because I had no time to focus on the pain. At first, it was just numbness, I was so busy, my heart had no time to catch up with my head or for my head to slow down for my heart. A blessing in disguise really. I did begin to do what the Uber lady suggested to do, to pray for you even if it’s 5 minutes. As weeks passed, the people who were strategically placed in my life had began to pray for me, to believe for me when I had zero faith. I started to hope again, but I was also still afraid. Afraid to be wrong, afraid to step out, afraid I’d be hurt again when it came to the area of relationships. One night, at the end of a yoga class, I saw a very vivid vision. at first, the men who had been involved in my life, whether they be lovers, or just guys who had ever taken an interest in me but I did not feel the same for them, some of them flashed before my eyes. The next scene I see is of a fox, lying there motionless, it seemed dead, atleast I thought it was dead, but the next scene flashed before me, and the fox was alive and well, just watching, staring at me. There was an unease to that picture, and I felt I needed to speak to someone about it. I felt to call a lady from my small group to pray through it with me, that night, I had the breakthrough that I needed. The verse Song of Songs 2:15 “Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom” was brought to our attention. The effects from those relationships which I thought were well and truly dead, was actually lying dormant unbeknownst to me that it was stealing from the crops which God was trying to build in my life. One by one we began to pray through the issues, and at the end, I sensed a freedom I hadn’t felt for a very long time. A few weeks before my last letter, as I was speaking to daddy, he did tell me that this was my Ephraim season, that I will be “fruitful through my pain”, and fruitful I was. Having favour in my workplace which I had never had before, been given a car at no cost so I can travel to my new job from a colleague who doesn’t know daddy, growing in favour even at church, gaining invaluable friends and family as well as meeting a wonderful man who I now call “boyfriend”. He didn’t come without lots and lots of prayer, from leaders, pastors, friends and elders. It was almost as if daddy set it all up for success, to give me a confidence that he is in this one… There’s so much more I wish to tell you, but I will leave it for the next letter, or this will get way too long. I pray that daddy will bless you as you sleep, and minister to your spirit through your dreams. Praying for protection over you, and that your heart will draw closer and closer to daddy.

Love, Little Miss J ♥

 

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